Author Archives: Bert

Unique Antique Vampire Slaying Kit Up For Auction

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Die, Dracula, Die!

On June 22, 2012 at Tennants Auctioneers in Yorkshire, England, a 19th century vampire slaying kit will be auctioned off.

Practically everything you would need to kill a fictional character is included. The kit,  housed in a mahogany box, contains a mallet and stakes, a pistol, a silver bullet mold, glass bottles containing holy water and holy earth, garlic, rosary beads, a bible, a crucifix and a handwritten psalm.  It is believed that the kit was made in earnest in the late 19th century. It is being consigned by a woman who inherited it from her uncle.

Because vampire sightings are on the rise and people are looking for extra security from the living dead, the auction has been attracting wordwide attention. The presale estimate of £1,500-2,000 (US $2,300 – 3,100) is probably on the low side considering the number of Dracula fans and strange goths who file down their teeth into fangs believing they are vampires.

UPDATE 7/25/12 – The final hammer price was £7,500 (US$11,700)!

Chimpanzees In Old News and Publicity Photographs

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Monkey See, Monkey Do

People find chimpanzees amusing, especially when they are doing non-chimp activities. News organizations, on a slow news day would send a photographer to see if a good photo-op would come about. Hopefully no one had their face ripped off.

Whatever background information is known, is written below the chimp photo. (Click any photo to enlarge.)

Chimpanzee photographing swimsuit models. Circa 1960’s. (He doesn’t have the viewfinder in the right place, does he?)

Bobby John, chimpanzee tennis player, Rockledge, FL November 20, 1973

“Jiggs” the chimpanzee, on the movie set of  “Her Jungle Love” with Dorothy Lamour. 1938

Chimpanzees eating zeppoles. Circa 1950’s.

Jacko (I swear that is his name) the London Zoo chimpanzee. Circa 1930’s

“The beret hat from Northern France is becomming very popular in London and one was introduced to Jacko the chimpanzee at the London Zoo”

Chimpanzee dressed elegantly, entering a limousine. Circa 1920’s.

Tommy Dorsey Swings It For Chimps – 1939

“Philadelphia – Tommy Dorsey, band leader, gives baby chimpanzees at the zoo here an earful of his trombone music during an experiment to determine the effect of music on animals. Attending the jam session put on by Dorsey and his players were psychologists who studied the animals’ reactions but made no immediate conclusions. January 31, 1939.”

Foreign Country Pays 11 Americans $350,000 Who Were There Illegally

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Has Protecting Illegals Gone Too Far?

Suppose a group of Americans went to China, Mexico or Saudi Arabia and overstayed their welcome by a few months or years. The immigration agents for that country discover their whereabouts, raid the homes where the Americans are living, arrest them and begin proceedings for deportation.

But then the Americans file suit, and the government not only stops the deportation, but eventually agrees to pay the illegal Americans $350,000 in a settlement that allows them to stay indefinitely.

Sounds crazy, right?

If the scenario described above occurred in any of those countries mentioned, the illegal American aliens would have been jailed,  punished, and deported.

Well of course this didn’t happen in any of those countries. This situation occurred in Connecticut, right here in the good ol’ USA. And obviously the parable does not involve American citizens, but illegal aliens.

As bizarre as it sounds, illegal immigrants successfully sued the U.S. federal government because their rights were violated and they were paid a $350,000 settlement.

The complete story reported here in detail by the Yale Daily News will raise questions about what is and what is not protected under the United States Constitution. It will also undoubtedly anger many Americans.

How could this happen? Continue reading →

The Best Presidential Candidate In The 2012 Election

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Vermin Supreme – Would Make A Better President Than Obama, Romney, Paul, Huntsman, Gingrich, Perry and Santorum

vermin supremeIf you have never heard of Vermin Supreme or that he is running for President you are not alone. He has not taken out any advertising and the mainstream media ignores him. But through youtube and other web sites, Vermin Supreme is making his candidacy known.

The only Presidential candidate who wears a boot on his head, Vermin Supreme has a simple platform:

  • Dental Hygiene Law
  • Flying Monkey Public Safety Assurance Program
  • Time Travel Research Funding
  • An Energy Program Which Harnesses the Awesome Power of The Zombies
  • Free Pony’s For All Americans

Vermin Supreme really is running for President. The satirist was invited to share the dais with the other Lesser-Known Democratic Candidates Presidential Forum which was held December 19, 2011 and hosted by the New Hampshire Institute of Politics at Saint Anselm College. The forum shows Mr Supreme at his best.

Randall Terry, the notorious anti-abortion activist, is the candidate who gets Mr. Supreme’s attention at the end of the video.

In a previous interview with the Washington Times, Mr. Supreme was asked whether he plans to send troops back into Iraq, Mr. Supreme said he wants to send troops “everywhere.”

“I propose we will invade and we will make that country a state,” he said. “So Iraq would be our 51st state, Afghanistan would be 52nd state. and on and on. Once we change these foreigners to Americans, they will certainly love America and we’ll will be able to tax them and it will be a wonderful unified United States of the Earth. Thank you.”

The United States needs Mr. Supreme if only for relief from all the empty words emanating from our politicians mouths.

MTA Propaganda

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Open For Business  ** Shop 2nd Ave ** It’s Worth It!

A cryptic poster on a city bus that says absolutely nothing. Typical of the MTA.

The punishment for the person who wrote this slogan should be to live in an apartment adjacent to the constant construction.

Below is the text of this MTA sign pictured above that “encourages” shoppers.

The many interesting shops, restaurants and services on Second Avenue are open while MTA Capital Construction builds the Second Avenue Subway. Shop Second Avenue. It’s Worth It!

Visit mta.info and click on the Capital Construction link for more about your local shops, restaurants and services.

The Manhattan Chamber of Commerce is a partner with MTA Capital Construction in support of local establishments as construction continues on the Second Avenue Subway.

This is going to convince anyone to shop in the construction zone?

Lame signs do not get people to shop in an area that is having many of its businesses being decimated by the constant construction for the Second Avenue Subway project. The poor business owners and residents along the construction route have suffered since 2007 and many stores have gone under in the intervening four-plus years.

Solutions, Not Signs

More people might patronize the establishments on Second Avenue if the MTA didn’t in a prima facie way, block access to the stores along the construction path. One side of certain streets appear to be inaccessible. Maybe the MTA could cut down on the hours that allowed filth and noise to be generated. Or just make a conscious effort to make the streets more inviting by not chopping the sidewalks to half their normal width and blocking re-routing crosswalks, making it difficult for pedestrians to stroll.

Plus the area is just plain ugly. It seems little or no thought was given into making the avenue look more appealing.  The fences, walls and temporary banners give Second Avenue a very shabby appearance. In many places Second Avenue looks more like a post-war zone, not a construction zone.

Originally the MTA projected the first phase from 105th Street to 72nd Street of the Second Avenue subway would be completed in 2014.  It is of course delayed and over budget. If they don’t run out of funds it might be completed by June 2018.

One side note: the entire first phase of the original New York City subway from City Hall to 145th Street, (almost nine miles) was built in just over four years from March 27, 1900 – October 26, 1904.

Jimmy Savile, Long Time “Top of the Pops” Host (& Pervert) Is Dead at 84

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Jimmy Savile, Zany British TV Host & PERVERT
(see update at end of article.)

Jimmy Savile was found dead at his home in Leeds October 29. He was just two days shy of turning 85.

In the United States Jimmy Savile is a relatively unknown name except to die-hard music fans or those who might have spent time in the United Kingdom.

In the UK you could not help but know Jimmy Savile. For twenty years, from its inception in 1964, Savile hosted Top of the Pops, a television music countdown show featuring hit singles.   Think of a British version of a cross between Casey Kasem’s radio program American Top 40 and Dick Clark’s television show American Bandstand and that was, Top of The Pops. Savile ended his reign as a regular host in 1984. Continue reading →

7 Billion People, That’s 6 Billion Too Many

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Celebrating Rising World Poverty, Hunger and Lots of People

The news yesterday was not earth shattering. The estimated number of people living on the earth is now seven billion. But that is a number that can shatter the earth and its resources.

What all the world’s cities can look like in 20 years – hooray!

News venues are touting this historic event as if it is something to be proud of. ABC television was showing babies from around the world born October 31, 2011 speculating that any of these children could have been the seven billionth living human.  It was then remarked by anchor Diane Sawyer that when these children turn fourteen, there will likely be eight billion people on the earth. Great. Overpopulation being glorified. Continue reading →

Did That Song Just Make Fun of Stuttering?

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Speech Impediments Were Fair Game For Early Songwriters

Forget The Who with “My Generation” or David Bowie with “Changes.” Stuttering lyrics were once blatant and over the top. Unlike today where some songs contain stuttering verses,  100 years ago, the stuttering was in the title or subtitle.

In 1907 an imaginative songwriter said to himself, “Hey. I’ve got an idea, I’ll write a song about stuttering, it will be a smash!” But he thought it over, “Hmmm,  that’s been done already. What if I added something about having a lisp?”Maybe that is the way the smash hit, The Boy Who Stuttered and The Girl Who Lisped by Louis Weslyn came to fruition.  Two speech impediments are better than one.

Today it seems politically incorrect (and in bad taste.) If songs like this were being produced today, protesters would be lining up to have the songs banned.

Back then, nothing was thought of it; a stutter or lisp would make perfectly acceptable lyrical content. The more outrageous the lyric, the better. Click here to listen to the song performed in 1908 by Billy Murray and Ada Jones.

The unusual thing is that Billy Murray seemed to be very good at fake stuttering and recorded one of the most popular stuttering songs of all-time, K-K-K-Katy “the sensational stammering song success” written by Geoffrey O’Hara in 1917. When you hear Murray’s rendition of K-K-K-Katy in the vocal break towards the end, you will be reminded of Mel Blanc, the famous Warner Brother’s cartoon voice of Porky Pig and Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck etc. etc.) . You can be sure Blanc took a page from Murray to create Porky’s stammer as Blanc later recorded his own version of K-K-K-Katy.  Click here to listen to Murray’s K-K-K-Katy.

And while Murray was an accomplished early recording star and performer, and could sing in other styles, he recorded another stuttering song in 1922, You Tell Her I S-T-U-T-T-T-E-R which was written by Billy Rose and Cliff Friend. Continue reading →

The “New” Led Zeppelin

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The Name Game Continues

While New Zealand may have outlawed some names, the USA, with the exception of what a judge may find to be a frivolous name, (Your Majesty; Copyright; Superman) still allows people to name themselves or their offspring pretty much whatever they want.

So when George Blackburn, 64, of Bethalto, IL recently got divorced, he wanted a fresh start and legally renamed himself Led Zeppelin II. According to an article in the St. Louis Post Dispatch the newly named Zeppelin said: Continue reading →