Category Archives: Comedy

Classic Hollywood #7

Fred Allen, Mary Martin and Jack Benny – 1940

I believe Jack Benny was one of the funniest comedians of all time. Benny could elicit more laughs with a look, gesture or single utterance than other comedians could with an entire monologue.  He became a star in vaudeville and was one of the few entertainers who made the transition to radio, film and eventually television successfully. Although Jack Benny has been dead for over 37 years, he is still fondly remembered by millions of fans.

Radio comedian Fred Allen is almost completely forgotten today. His sharp, acerbic wit Continue reading

Starting On Defense For The Chicago Blackhawks…#4 Bobby Orr

What’s Wrong With This Picture?

(Bobby Orr – October 9, 1976 –  Blackhawks vs. Islanders)

Contrary to any record book, hockey encyclopedia, photographic evidence, existing video or first hand account, Bobby Orr never, ever  played for any other team but the Boston Bruins. This was just a bad dream.

Classic Hollywood #6 – Harpo Marx & At Home With His Children

Harpo With His Children, 1954

Harpo Marx of the Marx Brothers married the beautiful actress Susan Fleming in 1936. She promptly retired from acting and from all accounts they had a terrific marriage until Harpo’s death in 1964.

Unable to have children, Harpo and Susan adopted four children, three of whom are seen here. From left to right Alex, Jimmy & Minnie.

Upon reflection, years later in interviews, the children concurred Continue reading

Stupid Baby Names Outlawed in New Zealand

New Zealand’s Birth Registrar bans “Lucifer” “Messiah” “General” and “*”  as Names

As reported in the West Australian newspaper on July 19 and other news outlets down under the New Zealand  registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriages have compiled a list of 102 names (so far) of names they will not allow parents to name their bundles of joy.

It might seem an arbitrary list, as they allowed one set of parents to name their child “Violence.”

Wouldn’t it be easier to just change your own name rather than embarrassing your offspring with your own idea of a unique name?

This is probably a case of the government overstepping their boundaries, but I am astounded by the number of stupid names American parents give their babies.

In New York City, a teacher I know who taught in the lower income South Bronx, actually encountered two children (from different families) with incredibly unique names.  Continue reading

ESPN “Improves” Baseball With Incredible Technology

A Strike Box, Called K-Zone, So Viewers Can Have their Main Focal Point Completely Obscured

I watched ESPN’s Monday Night Baseball for the first time this season for a few minutes. The Yankees were battling the Reds in interleague play.

For those baseball fans who don’t know where the strike zone is or question the umpire’s judgment, the brilliant minds at ESPN have put a rectangle superimposed over the home plate area to point out what was a ball or a strike. It was on the viewing screen for every pitch in the bottom of the 9th inning.

I quickly turned off the game before it ended and put on the radio. It was unwatchable. Continue reading

Movie Reviews – Classic Films From The 1960’s Reviewed By Bert’s Friend Roger Who Has A.D.D.

Five classic Films From The 1960’s That Everyone Should See

I asked my friend Roger to give his summation and write reviews of some of the all-time great movies from the 1960’s. For those who are too young to have seen these gems and automatically dismiss classic movies from the sixties, Roger is a big movie buff and is very good at distilling the essence of movies down to five lines (which is what he has done) to give you a concise, compelling summary.

We here at stuffnobodycaresabout.com believe that a handicap should not prevent someone from being given equal opportunities. Roger has always wanted to write and we felt Roger’s attention deficit disorder makes him well-suited to review movies for the younger generation, many of whom have a limited attention span themselves and can’t read a long review. So with that, here are Roger’s reviews.

Five Classic 1960’s Films  Reviewed

by Roger Donald Birnam

The Manchurian Candidate – (1962) Major Bennett Marco (Frank Sinatra) keeps having a recurring nightmare about his time in a prison camp during the Korean War.  After the war all the members of his platoon act strangely, particularly Raymond Shaw (Laurence Harvey) an unlikeable fellow, and this sets Major Marco on a trail to uncover a sinister plot.  If I get cremated I won’t need the cemetery plot my family has in Kennebunkport. Why do razor refills cost so much money compared to buying the assembly with the blade?   9 out of 10 stars

To Kill A Mockingbird – (1962) A supposed favorite book of lots of people who probably never really read it, the movie is Continue reading

Professional Sports Team Names And How To Improve Them

What I’ve Noticed About American Sports Team Names: They Really Don’t Reflect The City They Represent, Do They?

Okay, there are some exceptions where the team name does have something to do with the city. The origins of the names can directly correspond to the city.

I know for example: Houston Rockets – NASA is based there.  Minnesota Twins – the Twin Cities.  Cincinnati Reds – large contingency of communists and 1950’s HUAC blacklisted people in the arts are residents.  San Diego Chargers – enormous credit card debt incurred by the citizens. St. Louis Blues – high rate of depression in St. Louis. Los Angeles Kings (and the Sacramento Kings) – refers to the former monarchy that ran the government until 1961 when it was annexed by the United States. Portland Trail Blazers – High rate of arsonists partial to forest fires residing in the state.  This list could go on and on .  But most team names are just silly.

Well you think most of the good names are taken? Nah. You just have to have some creativity.

I’ve been thinking about some names- if any sport decides to come up with some new teams or change the name of a current team, so listen here NFL, NBA, MLB, NHL or MLS, please feel free to use my suggestions at no charge.

How about saying “I’ve got tickets to see…”

  1. The Miami Muggers
  2. The L.A. Traffic
  3. Cincinnati Crack Dealers
  4. Detroit Carjackers
  5. The New York Homeless
  6. Arizona Border Jumpers
  7. Cleveland Blasé
  8. Milwaukee Boozers
  9. Lexington Inbreeders
  10. Philadelphia Manhole Cover Thieves

Continue reading

The Truth About Self-Publishing, Books, Authors & Publicity

What Really Happens After Self-Publishing Your Book

This is satire, right?

No.

This two minute video will explain what the real problems are for promoting your book when you self-publish.

After you watch, maybe you’ll reconsider writing that book and self-publishing it. Based upon many a true story.

Enjoy.

Questions? Fire away.