Professional Sports Team Names And How To Improve Them

What I’ve Noticed About American Sports Team Names: They Really Don’t Reflect The City They Represent, Do They?

Okay, there are some exceptions where the team name does have something to do with the city. The origins of the names can directly correspond to the city.

I know for example: Houston Rockets – NASA is based there.  Minnesota Twins – the Twin Cities.  Cincinnati Reds – large contingency of communists and 1950’s HUAC blacklisted people in the arts are residents.  San Diego Chargers – enormous credit card debt incurred by the citizens. St. Louis Blues – high rate of depression in St. Louis. Los Angeles Kings (and the Sacramento Kings) – refers to the former monarchy that ran the government until 1961 when it was annexed by the United States. Portland Trail Blazers – High rate of arsonists partial to forest fires residing in the state.  This list could go on and on .  But most team names are just silly.

Well you think most of the good names are taken? Nah. You just have to have some creativity.

I’ve been thinking about some names- if any sport decides to come up with some new teams or change the name of a current team, so listen here NFL, NBA, MLB, NHL or MLS, please feel free to use my suggestions at no charge.

How about saying “I’ve got tickets to see…”

  1. The Miami Muggers
  2. The L.A. Traffic
  3. Cincinnati Crack Dealers
  4. Detroit Carjackers
  5. The New York Homeless
  6. Arizona Border Jumpers
  7. Cleveland Blasé
  8. Milwaukee Boozers
  9. Lexington Inbreeders
  10. Philadelphia Manhole Cover Thieves

I have the logos in my head, but I am not an adept artist so I won’t attempt to illustrate my creations.

What are your team name suggestions? Would you like to illustrate some of these uniforms? Drop us a line.

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1 thought on “Professional Sports Team Names And How To Improve Them

  1. Funkmeister

    Alliteration can also be fun
    The Iowa Imbeciles
    The California Crack
    The Chicago Sh**heads
    The Toronto Turd
    The Detroit Douche bags

    Then add in some health oriented names
    The Pittsburgh Pilates
    The Georgia Joggers
    The Minnesota Muscle


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