President Obama Promises to Bring Change To Television Before He Leaves Office
During President Obama’s recent visit to “The Tonight Show” with Jimmy Fallon on Friday, the president unveiled a final shocking and controversial plan to be implemented before he exits office in 2017.
President Obama declared he would drastically overhaul many segments of America’s television viewing habits beginning with entertainment and reality television programs, calling it “a painful but necessary decision.”
The president said that his plan, Change and Equalization for American Television (CHEAT), would allow television programs to be more inclusive and teach and inform rather than just have people be non-thinking couch potatoes. President Obama said, “Restructuring how people spend their free time has become a priority,” before he leaves the presidency.
“There is just too much useless information on television infiltrating young folk’s minds in the form of entertainment and reality programs,” the president told Fallon. “The Biggest Loser, Dancing With The Stars, The O’Reilly Factor, I mean the list of dangerous and uninformative programs is just too long,” President Obama said.
The president singled out a program that disturbed him greatly, not only because of its lack of diversity in the cast, but by the cruelty of the situation.
“There was one show on a few years ago, I think it was “Lost” President Obama recalled. “Well, when I tuned in a few times, I could not believe that the producers of this reality program had stranded seven people, who by the way were all white, on a desert island with no phone, no lights, no motorcar – not a single luxury. These fine brave Americans included a millionaire and his wife, a professor, and a movie star. It was clear to me they wanted to get off this island. Well it seems that one of the other islander’s, a Mr. Gilligan, must have been planted by the producers of the show to foil each rescue attempt, because he sabotaged every planned escape. It was heartbreaking”
Mr. Fallon started to explain to President Obama that the show he had watched was not Lost, when the president interrupted him by saying firmly, “These types of shows are not only insipid, but lack diversity, as they are not inclusive and representative of all Americans.”
The other current shows that bothered Mr. Obama were plentiful and he named some of them. Keeping Up With The Kardashians, America’s Next Top Model, The Voice and Sean Hannity were on his target list of shows to be eliminated.
What would make the president happy, Mr. Fallon asked?
He would like to see more mini-series based upon historical works that elevate and enlighten, and most of all, educate audiences.
The president endorses putting shows into production based upon influential books. He suggested such works as The Last American by J.A. Mitchell (an 1889 futuristic novel in which Persia [Iran] controls the world); The Communist Manifesto by Marx and Engels; Das Kapital by Karl Marx; Eugene V. Debs: Citizen and Socialist by Nick Salvatore and Mr. Obama’s own The Audacity of Hope.
President Obama insisted if the networks want to retain the successful reality TV format, the shows must be more inspiring.
The president proposed original reality programming that could be easily developed with such clear titles and plots like; “Who Wants To Get Rid Of All The Millionaires?” “America’s Got Talented Crooked Politicians”; “Covet Thy Neighbor’s House”; “Let’s Divide America”; “Total Illegal Alien Amnesty.” The president also suggested ideas for new exciting real life dramas like “Confiscating Legal Guns” and “Politicians Ignoring Constituents.”
“This is not a decision that I’ve made lightly,” the president said to a stunned Mr. Fallon and Tonight Show audience. “But the bottom line is this: For the past eight years I’ve solved all our healthcare issues, energy needs, economy concerns, housing problems and, terrorism threats, and now it’s time to harness our energies to get some better entertainment.”
Dr. Cornelius Zaius of the free speech group OpenBroadcastMedia countered last night by saying “We’re appalled that the president is unleashing a wholesale assault on television. The government should just stay out of television programming and let Americans continue on their path to collectively lowering our nations IQ.”
The president announced he hopes to get the ball rolling soon and have legislation drafted by the end of October and ready to be instituted by January of 2017 for the entertainment and reality television reforms. He expects fierce resistance and an outcry from most Americans. The president concluded, “My motto is change. And like the sheep they have become, Americans will eventually and grudgingly have to accept whatever change is to follow.”