Category Archives: Comedy

The Woman in the First Row Behind Home Plate At Milwaukee Brewers Games? It’s “Front Row Amy”

“Front Row Amy” Gets National Attention Sitting Behind Home Plate During The Milwaukee Brewers Playoff Run

She is there for every pitch – “Front Row Amy”

The Milwaukee Brewers are battling the Los Angeles Dodgers in the playoffs and the games are being nationally televised. This has led to a discovery for most (male) fans outside of Milwaukee.

Front Row Amy

You’d have to be completely oblivious not to notice there is a woman sitting in the first row behind home plate at the Brewers home games always wearing a low cut blouse.

You may think she is there to distract the opposing team’s pitcher. She is not.

She has been going to Brewers games for over 10 years and her name is Amy Williams, aka “Front Row Amy.”

Amy is a die-hard fan. As a season ticket holder she attends around 50 games per year.

In 2011 she moved to her signature front row seat and started getting “noticed.”

As she told OnMilwaukee.com in 2011, “What first got people’s attention was probably, well, you know, “the girls.” But, I think what keeps their attention is that fact that I am so passionate about the Brewers. Brewers fans appreciate the fact that I I drive an hour and a half to games by myself, that I keep score, and that I really get into the game! The Brewers are my life during baseball season, and I guess that shows when I’m at games. I love them so much it hurts! And baseball is the greatest game on Earth!”

How famous is Amy? Well she has a bobble-head that is available for purchase. I don’t know many fans who have received that honor. She also has imitators at Miller Park, such as this person, “Front Row Andy”:

Getting to the ballpark Continue reading

Classic Hollywood #72 – Outtake Photo Of The Legends Of Comedy

Outtake Photo of  The Legends of Comedy

Just before posing for a formal photograph, an unnamed Globe photographer captured this informal moment. This photograph was unpublished until now. Flanking the seated Lucille Ball are (l-r) Milton Berle, George Burns, Jack Benny, Bob Hope, Groucho Marx and longtime Lucy co-star Gale Gordon.

The only one who seems ready for this photo is Lucy. Everyone else is completely distracted.

The photo below Continue reading

A Misunderstanding In The Record Store

Never Send Mom To The Record Store To Buy A Record – A True Story

There was a time when the only way to buy music was to purchase it on tape or vinyl, usually at a record or department store. The year was 1983 and a friend of mine, Kyle worked in the local record store.

His knowledge and love of rock n’ roll led him to pursue this part-time minimum wage position to help support his college tuition.

Kyle’s job was to stock the store with new product as it came in and help customers with any needs.

So one day as Kyle is sorting vinyl he notices a middle-aged woman looking at the bins that hold the records. She was obviously not finding whatever it was she was searching for in the “R” section.

Kyle approached the woman, smiled and said. “Can I help you find something?”

“Oh, yes,” the woman replied, “my son sent me to buy the new rubber plant record, but I can’t seem to find it.”

Kyle’s eyebrows went up and he repeated the name to her, “rubber plant?”

“Yes, rubber plant,” the woman confirmed distinctly emphasizing-the last r in rubber. Continue reading

How Historic Events Would Be Covered By The Media If They Were Written About With 2018 Attitudes

If The Media Covered These Historic Events Now, It Might Read Something Like This

We view historic events with 21st century attitudes and ideas. It’s called presentism.

Reader warning: satire ahead.

 A Rampage of Sexual Harassment in Times Square (V.J. Day 1945)

As pedestrians watch, an American sailor celebrates by passionately kissing and sexually assaulting a white-uniformed nurse in Times Square to celebrate the long awaited-victory over Japan  photo: Alfred Eisenstaedt / Life Magzine

Crowd in Times Square celebrates V.J. Day photo: Ezra Stoller

As word spread that the Empire of Japan had unconditionally surrendered and that the war was finally over, pandemonium broke loose in New York City’s Times Square yesterday. Continue reading

Hilarious Headlines From The Covers Of “Man’s Life” Magazine In The 1950s & 60s

“Sex Tricks That Make Women Beg You For Love!” & Other Catchy Headlines From Man’s Life Magazine Of The 1950s and 60s

Man’s Life September 1967

Man’s Life September 1956 – Weasels Ripped My Flesh

With eye-catching painted covers and over the top headlines, Man’s Life magazine provided titillating reading for men from the 1950s through the 1970s.

Man’s Life was the magazine that came up with the now infamous headline “Weasels Ripped My Flesh,” which musician Frank Zappa later appropriated with new artwork for his band’s 1970 album cover.

How could any red blooded male resist stories such as “Sex tricks that make women beg you for love”? Or in the same September 1967 issue: “American towns where vice is legal!” Continue reading

10 Baby Names That Will Not Be Making A Comeback

Ten Boys Baby Names That Are Permanently Out Of Fashion And Will Never be Used Again

Actor Alastair Sim as Ebenezer Scrooge

Baby names go in and out of vogue. Some cycle through long and short terms of popularity. Other names are popular for a few years and then fade into oblivion. At the end of the article see the ten most popular male and female names given in 1880, 1950 and 2017.

One of my close relatives was named Adolph. Unless you are a big admirer of the Third Reich, most parents would avoid naming their child after the Führer. Yet there are people who do name their children Adolf or Adolph.

For every Benjamin, Lucas and Jacob (2017 popular names according to the Social Security Administration), there will be “unique” names such as Jaxx, Reign and Ledger.

While many parents want to give their child a unique name, most don’t want a really weird or antiquated name.

Here are ten male names that will not be making a comeback in the 21st century.

  1. Ebenezer – You could call him Eb for short, but no one is beating down the doors to start naming their children after Dickens’ miserly character Scrooge.

 

  1. Preserved – Some verbs can be used as a name, but Preserved? Yes, Preserved was a 19th century name. Preserved Fish mentioned in the famous Hone Diary, was a merchant who lived from 1766-1846.

 

  1. Telemachus – A somewhat unusual name even for the 19th century. But there were people with this name in the United States.  Greek mythology not withstanding, a name that is completely unused today and for the foreseeable future.

 

  1. Grover – Maybe you are a huge fan of the show Sesame Street or the 22nd and 24th President of the United States, Grover Cleveland. If not, it is highly doubtful that anyone will be naming their child Grover in this century.

 

  1. Egbert – A name guaranteed to incite endless name-calling, bullying and ass kicking once enrolled in school. To be avoided at all costs.

Continue reading

Yankee Managery Aarony Booney Has A Namey Problemy

Aaron Boone Apparently Has A New Nickname for Every Yankee & It Ends With a “Y”

One of the worst innovations in baseball telecasts has been the managers interview in the dugout during the game.

Without fail the meaningless banter yields no insight and distracts viewers from the game itself.

Listening to new Yankee manager Aaron Boone during spring training, has been especially annoying. In about eight interviews I’ve heard with Skipper Boone, nearly every Yankee has been renamed by placing a “Y” sound at the end of their first or last name. Not being in the Yankees clubhouse I cannot be certain that the Yankees don”t rechristen themselves as Boone has done, but I somehow doubt it.

So during the MLB, YES or ESPN broadcast interviews this spring, Boone sounds more like a schoolboy, than a major league manager.

When Boone is referring to Aaron Judge, he is “Judgey.” Brett Gardner has become “Gardy.” Aroldis Chapman is “Chappy.” Greg Bird is “Birdy.”  Aaron Hicks has become “Hicksy.” Chad Green is “Greeny.”

Jordan Montgomery is now the British expeditionary leader of WWII, “Monty.” Like our 40th president Ronald Torryes is “Ronnie.” Chasen Shreve is “Shrevey” which sounds like something akin to a short pervert. Jacoby Ellsbury who could have remained Jacoby or Ellsbury, is not a cow, but must represent Borden milk, as he has become “Elsie.”. Continue reading

More Unusual, Strange and Funny Cemetery Epitaphs

“Here lies the body of Henry Round
Who went to sea and never was found.”

Unusual Cemetery Epitaphs from Great Britain and the United States

We’ve covered unusual epitaphs before and the question that always comes to mind is: did the deceased intend to have these words placed upon their monument or is it more often the work of some comedic relative?

Funny Epitaphs by Arthur Eaton photo: Gil’s Book Loft Binghamton, NY

This collection in book form entitled Funny Epitaphs collected by Arthur Wentworth Eaton, (The Mutual Book Company), Boston, 1902, gathers up epitaphs from around Great Britain and the United States.

These inscriptions are claimed to be on tombstones. Eaton does not disclose how he compiled the epitaphs. Some quick research shows Eaton probably collected the majority of epitaphs from previously published sources. Unfortunately, in many of the examples, Eaton does not give names or more importantly the cemetery or location where the inscription can be found.

Like Ripley’s Believe It or Not, you’ll have to decide for yourself if these epitaphs can really be found in a cemetery.

Some are not so funny, but profound. Here is a selection of some of the better and more unusual epitaphs.

 

 

Here lies the body of Johnny Haskell,
A lying, thieving, cheating rascal ;
He always lied, and now he lies,
He has no soul and cannot rise.

Beneath this stone a lump of clay,
Lies Arabella Young ;
Who on the 24th of May,
Began to hold her tongue.

On a tombstone in New Jersey :

Reader, pass on I — don’t waste your time
On bad biography and bitter rhyme ;
For what I ant, this crumbling clay insures.
And what I was, is no affair of yours

At Wolstanton :
Mrs. Ann Jennings

Some have children, some have none ;
Here lies the mother of twenty-one.

Ruth Sprague tombstone Hoosick Falls, NY

There is an epitaph of an eccentric character that
may be seen on a tombstone at the burying-grounds
near Hoosick Falls, New York. It reads :

Ruth Sprague, Daughter of Gibson and Elizabeth Sprague.
Died June 11, 1846, aged 9 years, 4 months, and 3 days.
She was stolen from the grave by Roderick R. Clow, dissected at Dr. P. M. Armstrong’s office, in Hoosick, N. Y., from which place her mutilated remains were obtained and deposited here.

Her body dissected by fiendish man,
Her bones anatomized,
Her soul, we trust, has risen to God,
Where few physicians rise.

Here I lie, and no wonder I am dead,
For the wheel of a wagon went over my head.

Tread softly mortals o’er the bones
Of this world’s wonder, Captain Jones,
Who told his glorious deeds to many
Yet never was believed by any.
Posterity let this suffice
He swore all’s true, yet here he lies.

 

This is all that remains of poor Ben Hough
He had forty-nine years and that was enough.
Of worldly goods he had his share,
And now he’s gone to the Devil’s snare.

Here lies the body of Henry Round
Who went to sea and never was found. Continue reading

Classic Hollywood #63 – Abbott & Costello With Edgar Bergen & Charlie McCarthy

Abbott & Costello With Edgar Bergen & Charlie McCarthy

When I was growing up there were only seven television channels to choose from in New York City. Many weekend mornings I found myself laughing at the antics of Abbott and Costello on WPIX, channel eleven. A lot of other kids at that time shared that love for the fast-talking comedy duo.

Not just their movies were shown, but also the Abbott and Costello TV show was broadcast regularly as well. If today’s generation knows anything about Abbott and Costello, it is almost certainly their famous “Who’s On First” baseball skit. Unfortunately Abbott and Costello and their wordplay humor are fading into history.

But if Abbott and Costello have faded, then ventriloquist Edgar Bergen and his puppet Charlie McCarthy are forgotten. Continue reading

Showering In Front of Richard Nixon

Is There A Better Way To Start Your Day Than Standing Naked In Front of Richard Nixon?

You never know what you’ll come across at the Stormville (NY) Airport flea market. Every time I think I’ve seen everything I get a sober reminder that I haven’t.

Who knew that a company actually marketed and sold a Richard Nixon shower head?

Can you think of anything less appealing than getting up every day, stepping into the shower and stand naked in front of a likeness of Richard Nixon as he sprays water on you? Continue reading