10 Witty Quotations

I Wish I Had Said That

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ralph Waldo Emerson – photo Library of Congress

Over the years I’ve collected what I think are sound words of wisdom and pithy lines. These fall into the latter category. While you may not find many of these in Bartlett’s Quotations, I’m sure there will be a couple of quotes here that should go down in posterity as memorable and be included in that most famous of quotation books.

Thoughts to ponder:

“Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men” – Joseph Conrad

“A dose of poison can do its work only once, but a bad book can go on poisoning people’s minds for any length of time” –  John Murray

“Some have been thought brave because they were afraid to run away.” –  Ralph Waldo  Emerson

“By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” – Robert Frost

“If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner.” – H. L. Mencken

“The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.”  – W.C. Fields

“Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?” – George Carlin

“The difference between death and taxes is death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.” – Will Rogers

“There are three types of lies; lies, damned lies and statistics.” – Mark Twain

“Some men are heterosexual and some men are bisexual and some men don’t think about sex at all … you know, they become lawyers.” – Woody Allen

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